Does anyone actually still read this?

I know I don’t write as often as I used to. I know I don’t run in as many marathons or travel to race or anything like that (have you SEEN the prices of registration lately!?!?). Someone mentioned to me that I am “not as epileptic as I used to be”. All of these things have made me wonder whether to keep writing or take down the blog entirely.

I do still run. When it is really cold or snowy, it’s a treadmill. When it’s nice outside, I go along the river for as long as I want. I still love it and it’s still always this amazing feeling of challenge and success when I lace up my sneakers. I might only run for an hour but it still makes me feel amazing, and I absolutely encourage anyone who is considering running (or jogging, or walking) to start. Around the block, 1km, 5km, whatever feels best for you, the happiness with having the idea in your head and following through with it is great. It doesn’t end when the action is done either. Eventually too, you will start wanting it every day in the most positive addiction you can possibly have (although watch out for buying too many sneakers – not that I am one to talk).

I am “still” epileptic. I haven’t had a seizure in nearly 5 years. That is 5x longer than any period since they first started happening. There could be any number of reasons. Prior to them ceasing, I had 17% body fat. I was massively underweight because I could not eat enough to keep up with my running. Now (since 2020), I’m around 26% body fat. My brain has a nice layer of fat between it and my skull so even if I have a seizure, that cushy layer will help prevent another concussion. I also changed medications about 5 years ago. Could be the pharmaceuticals. Those are my biggest two theories, because I guarantee I am still stressed, don’t get enough sleep, go to bars with neon lights, and drink. So all the things that I am not supposed to be doing, I do.

I do still have to take my medications twice a day still. I imagine that even if I never have a seizure again, I will be doing this for the rest of my life. I’m okay with this. It’s not that big of a deal in the large scheme of things. I have a drivers license, but based on the province I live in, every year I have to get a neurologist to confirm that I am still safe to drive. This is really effing irritating and I hate it, but having the ability to have a license is more important. Based on the country I live in, I may be able to apply for disability benefits, but then again, I may not (because I have been able to work and I do have a drivers license). Again, I have to see a neurologist about this. Also, very irritating because a lot of other disabilities can be confirmed by family doctors and I have to specifically see a specialist. Irritating.

It’s harder overall to track goals and success I think when I do a fair amount of working out with weights rather than running. I’m still working on doing the Wellerman Push Up Challenge (YouTube it if you don’t know what I am talking about). Problem is, when it comes to getting on the forearms and moving forward or backward, I almost always punch myself in the face. I’ve reached out to a woman online who is amazing at it for advice. I had to send a video which I will not share here… maybe one day I will have a good video where I don’t look like an idiot part way through.

So I guess the big thing about this post is the question: Do I keep it running? Does anyone read it? Is it giving anyone insight into being epileptic and athletic along with all the other challenges?

Please let me know!