I write about choices a lot. We have them. Sometimes we have a broader range of options, sometimes they are limited, but regardless, they always still exist. At this exact moment, I am choosing not to work on studying, working out, or watching a movie. I’m not networking, or applying for jobs. I’m not painting, or getting ready for my busy day, or doing anything that I actually wanted to get done today. Procrastination? Yes. Choice? Also yes. In my defense, I’ve been awake for two hours and done a bunch of those things already but that is not the point.

The actual point of this post is about getting out of one’s comfort zone. We absolutely all have things that make us feel vulnerable, or exposed, or uncomfortable. That is absolutely allowed and I’m not trying to criticize that. Is it public speaking? Is it trying a new sport? Is it investing in art supplies for the first time? I’m using those three as examples because they are not things that make me feel vulnerable, but are super common. I have experience public speaking. I’ve tried new sports (just a few weeks ago it was soccer and I was TERRIBLE, but I would really like to try it again). As far as art supplies go, I bought some gesso and painted over some of my previous canvases and when they are ready, I have some plans for them.

What does make me feel vulnerable? Eating in front of individuals for the first time. If it’s a big group, I can avoid eye contact and look down at my food (or avoiding eating entirely), but having a meal with someone? That takes months of me building up trust to get there. Don’t ask me why because I have no idea. Appetizers can sometimes fly, but absolutely not ones like nachos where it’s shared. Again, months to be ready for that (if ever). Drinking is fine but a dinner? No chance (I blame the fact that because I have implanted teeth that I cannot feel if I have food stuck there and have to go check every few minutes).

Other thing? Singing. I am not a good singer. While I can speak on a stage regarding motivational topics, professional topics, on panels, that is totally fine. Singing though? Terrifies me. I am super aware of that however, and I dislike being intimidated by anything. So, I go to karaoke. I stand up there and sing. It’s the scariest thing in the world for me. I sing at home for sure, definitely in the shower, but in front of people? Still a work in progress.

Last thing? I don’t let individual people in my apartment even when I know them super well. I don’t go into people’s homes either (except family). I will make exceptions for parties and BBQs when there are a lot of people and I can easily go outside or wherever. It’s not a social anxiety thing, it’s a safety thing. That may never change, but I am totally fine with it. So it doesn’t entirely count as something out of my comfort zone in the same way. There are so many horror movies or tv shows that articulate why it’s a terrible idea in the first place.

So, the singing is something I can work on. Not necessarily to get better (that may never happen) but to get to a point where it is no longer outside my comfort zone. I’m not sure about the eating thing. I realize it can be a form of anxiety or an eating disorder, but knowing that I can get there over time suggests it’s initially a combination of insecurity and distrust.

Here’s a new thing: I want something from you. You don’t have to tell me, but consider what your top two things are that are outside your comfort zone. It can be anything I mentioned or anything that I have never considered, that is all on you. Just thing about it. What are they? More importantly, WHY are they? I’ve known people who thought they could never be a runner because “[insert reason]”. Then when they worked it out, they realized they could. I’ll likely never be a singer, but karaoke helps me work one thing that makes me feel extremely vulnerable. It’s amazing what we can do when we realize what it is exactly outside our comfort zone and push for it. Don’t worry about running a marathon or joining a band, I’m not suggesting extremes. But if those are the things, maybe try going for a walk or singing in the shower (loudly).

Whatever you choose, however you go about it, just remember: Realizing in itself is extraordinary. We may not think we are perfect, but in reality, we are. And for reference, in this photo, I am singing “Ruby Soho” and that is absolutely not in my vocal range. But I did it anyways.