This is actually about employment, isolation, running and epilepsy. This is a lot for one post. It’s all been a fraction of the things I’ve been thinking about over the last week, so I wanted to summarize it. Summarize, show how they intertwine and outline why it’s important not to disregard that webbing.
Employment: I am still employed, and I am very thankful for that. I work from home currently.
Isolation: I live alone and was previously very social. Now, I don’t even have a plant.
Running: It’s harder to get long distances in the paths are busier, especially considering the paths I used were not very large and can’t accommodate for social distancing.
Epilepsy: While I haven’t had any seizures for a bit now, it doesn’t mean I’m still not epileptic.
How do these all intertwine together? Employment: When I work in an office, I would have contact with coworkers. Even if I couldn’t get a run in, I walked to and from work. I could express my concerns for my health. Isolation: Work provided me with interactions. I walked to and from work and tried to walk at lunch. I could ask for help if I felt unwell. Running: I had a great start to my morning and the end of the day (and maybe mid-day). Athletics balance out my medical condition. Athletics is a common topic in my workplace. I could join running groups or attend races. Epilepsy: Working with people who didn’t treat me differently made me feel empowered. Going out was a chance to interact and meet new people. Running was strengthening.
That’s a lot of webbing and that’s only four subjects (I guarantee there are more included in my thought process). This is why there are a lot of topics in this post. It is super easy to get overwhelmed by one of those concerns, and that can easily spiral to and influence all the other four (or however many). What might have once been webbing become a knot. If I have a busy day at work, I might not feel like running or talking to anyone. If I look at photos from pre-COVID, I am automatically in a bad mood because I miss road-tripping and travel. If other runners are verbally aggressive, that definitely makes me not want to talk to anyone. Pretty much anything with epilepsy impacts everything.
What do we do with necklaces and headphones?
I like wearing necklaces, especially the ones with multiple chains. Unless I’m running, I wear headphones with cords instead of Bluetooth. If the necklace I want to wear is tangled in itself, or in other necklaces, I don’t just throw it aside and pick another necklace (or wear no necklace at all). Same goes for headphones. So why do I allow one little issue of the four I listed above to completely impact everything else? That’s like saying “Well, I can’t untangle this necklace so I guess I’m just not going to go to the party and I’m going to take off all my fabulous makeup and I’m going to throw these fabulous shoes across the room” or “Well, since I can’t untangle my headphones, I’m not going to go out to a park or to a beach or to the mountains, and I’m going to take off these amazing sneakers and I’m just going to lay on the floor in misery”.
I will acknowledge that historically there have been times where I have thrown some shoes and I have sprawled on the floor in misery. It happens.
The point is: It doesn’t need to happen. Or at least, if it needs to happen, let it happen because of something specifically related to the one thing that’s causing it. Embrace that.
We are in an environment that is new, that is different, and we’ve been this way for 7-ish weeks. I miss seeing my coworkers. I miss running for hours. I miss going to parties. While I don’t miss having seizures, if it meant the end of COVID for everyone, I’d go back to having them.
This time, I’m not saying be kind to others. I’m not even saying be kind to yourself. I’m just saying, be logical to yourself. Untangle the necklace or headphones. Or if it’s completely impossible, get a new necklace or headset. Just don’t let the knots overwhelm you to the point where you give up on the exciting things that we could be enjoying and will one day be able to embrace again.
Thanks for sharing this! I have been feeling just that tangled and you are right, it’s not ok to just give up